Your Biggest Fans,
The Snarf’s Team
CONGRATS TO OUR WINNERS!
It was just another day; I'd finished my work.
"One Night Snarf"
"Enjoy your evening," my boss said with a smirk.
I'd told him my plan for the rest of my night;
He smiled at me as I walked out of sight.
I got to my car and I opened my phone,
Thumbed through my apps as I sat alone.
Then I finally clicked on my favorite one;
I said to myself: "This is gonna be fun."
The Snarf's app had loaded, I started to swipe,
Left right left, then right right right.
Like Tinder for sandwiches, so many to choose
But this app is different: no way could I lose.
Tonight, should I get the lascivious prime rib?
A sandwich so juicy it requires a bib?
Or the humble BLT, a meal that says "calm,"
The sandwich I'd want to take home to mom?
It was devil and angel at odds on my shoulder,
But I made my decision and drove into Boulder.
"Not on the menu" was the section I craved,
Full of bold, refined choices…most well-behaved.
As I pulled up and parked, humming a jingle,
I realized my tastebuds had started to tingle.
Just a few more steps ‘til I met my date.
I was nervous but I knew the night would be great.
They were calling my name as I walked in the door;
"That was fast," I thought, hurrying across the floor.
The wait was over: there you were lying,
The Big Fat Snarf, sublime without trying.
Time slowed down as we stopped and we stared
We lived in the moment (one of many we shared).
I took you in my arms and I spun you around
And then we were off for a night on the town.
We strolled down the Mall; I clutched you so tight.
We saw some live music, and we flew a kite.
We watched the sun set from a lookout on Flagstaff
"Let's go to my place," and I swear I heard you laugh.
We finally arrived and I showed you my pad
But I made the tour quick; I wanted you bad.
I took off your wrapper - a pro size, so filling.
With double the meat, you made the night thrilling.
Corned beef AND pastrami, the juices were flowing
Good thing we were home…my excitement was showing.
I finished and didn't wake up until dawn.
We'd had a great night, but then you were gone.
The memories rushed in and I had dé ja vu,
Like I'd done this before as I woke up anew.
A new day was here, new choices to be made,
New sandwiches too, then I let those thoughts fade.
"Have a good night?" asked the boss. "Oh, yes."
"There's still mayo on your chin, no less."
"You can't even begin to understand," I said,
"My love for everything between sliced bread."
I was snooping in a certain southwest(/midwest) state
"When I First Found Snarf's"
For a place I could make a sandwich date.
When I saw a sign with three friends feasting,
On sandwiches that were big and beastly.
I stopped and did an about face,
And walked into this funky space.
But I'm indecisive all the time,
And never can make up my mind.
Meatball, pastrami, eggplant Parm?
The menu had a certain charm.
So I went ahead and got all three,
Not knowing I'd soon have an epiphany.
I sat down, unwrapped one, and realized,
My stomach was much smaller than my eyes.
This sandwich, no doubt, set my hunger straight,
Packed to the point it couldn't fit on a plate.
But there I stayed and I ate and ate it,
Until midway through, I was satiated.
Stuffed, I staggered out with subs to spare
And for two days straight all I ate was Snarf's fare
No regrets, no! Not one in my life!
In fact, I knew I'd be back to make the same mistake twice.
Whenever we feel a bit peckish
Or just in the mood for a treat
We head out to Snarf's for a sandwich;
We're lucky it's just down the street.
Pastrami for Mommy is perfect
Dad loves the prime rib on wheat
The gluten-free bun is ideal for our son
As long as it has double meat.
With toppings aplenty, we're picky
I'll have them all, if you please
My daughter loves onions and peppers
Both smothered with provolone cheese.
Whatever we order, we're certain
The Snarf's crew will get it just right
They're local, they're skilled, and they're friendly
Good training, or started out bright?
We pick up our food for a picnic
Or eat it right there in the store
Thank goodness for Snarf's ‘round our corner
We can't wait to come back for more.
"My pregnant wife wants
"Double bacon chile" was all the text said.
My wife sent me this as I readied for bed.
"Now?" I replied. It was 9:25.
"NOW," she said back, and I started to drive.
Snarfburger's hours are 10 until 10
But my wife has cravings at God-knows-when.
Last week she requested some 6am tots
(I was lucky she didn't start firing shots).
It's different each time; her orders are odd.
Good thing the menu is varied and broad.
Sauerkraut is her most frequent request
She says "TMI, but it helps me digest."
I'm not complaining; it works out for me.
She gets what she wants and I get Triple "B,"
With bacon and BBQ, this sandwich worth praising
"Needs sauerkraut," she butts in, "then it'd be amazing."
She already knows what she wants for tomorrow:
A Spicy A-1 and a shake with Oreo.
If I don't deliver, our marriage is done.
Each day now requires a Snarfburger run.
As I lie here at night, rubbing her tummy
She thanks me: "I love you…that burger was yummy."
"It's worth it," I think as I count myself blessed
Because Snarfburger is the flippin' best.
I'm madly in love with you.
It's not your charming cartoon mascots (Sam, Bev & Chip) with their eyebrows in all the wrong places, or the spatula-wielding burger flashing a flirty thumbs up. It's not your whimsical color palette or mosaics giving each location its own unique vibe. It's not even your name, Snarfburger, which is a fun thing to say and also to do.
It's who you are on the INSIDE. And on the inside you are a scrumptious juicy hamburger cooked to perfection every single time.
Your supple buns are a thing of beauty, like little clouds plucked from the heavens and artfully toasted, bolstering the dreamy disc of freshly hand-formed beef. Would that I were a slice of cheese, draped over you and hugging every inch of your meaty self.
You trust me to put what I want on you, but are no stranger to innovation, offering regular burger specials with creative toppings. You sure know how to keep a girl on her toes.
Leave the fancy wrapping and boxes to the other burger joints, you are dressed in simple white paper because you know I will tear it off the second I get my hands on you.
Put a ring on my finger. An onion ring. Probably one of the smaller ones - they're huge sometimes and I've got little hands. You know what- it might burn because it's so delicious and hot and crispy, so let's just pretend we did real quick for a picture. We're so cute.
I've waited long enough and figured it's time to tell you exactly how I feel. Lunch time.
I can't wait to stuff you in my mouth.
As I rise to meet the day,
Feeling blessed with gentle mood,
I toss on my boots,
And stroll around the neighborhood.
I pass by the park and take in wonders,
Just as my stomach loudly thunders,
Corner of 11th my brain is taken
By the smell that makes my nostrils start shaking.
I follow the scent and place my order,
Waiting for this delicacy is true torture,
But finally my name is called
Two hands start chowing down hard.
Slathered with sensual sauces,
The patty thick and juicy,
A tower of terrific toppings,
To make the whole thing nice and groovy.
Covered in melty cheese,
Brings me wobbling to my knees,
Sweet and spicy giardiniera,
To this burger I say sayonara!
Lost in bliss by heavenly flavors,
Every bite I tried to slowly savor,
Alas I must complete
This sacred trip to the "royale" eating seat.
Filled to the gills with succulent Snarf’s,
The last thing I'd ever want to do is barf!
For the food it's a million blessin's
I'll keep eating as long as y'all keep cheffin'
Express your Snarf's Love for a Chance to
Writers, poets and heralds of all sorts...
Snarf’s & Snarfburger are awarding $1,000 each for the most eloquent of Snarf’s flattery put to prose. Count the way thee loves us and we will love thee back and it will be worth $1,000. Good luck!
Step 1: Show off your creative writing skills and put to word what you love about Snarf's or Snarfburger.
Step 2: Complete the form below and hit “Submit Entry” by 5/31/23.
$1,000 first place
two $500 runners-up
$1,000 first place
two $500 runners-up
*Entries must be received by 5/31/23. All submissions belong to Snarf’s Worldwide to use at our discretion. Limit one entry per person. Employees may enter but are not eligible for prizes. View Official Rules.
The contest entry period has concluded – see our winners’ submissions above!